The Paradox of ‘Like’

October 27, 2014 2 Comments


Someone put up a lame, lamenting post on Facebook on how depressed she is because her previous post (with pictures of all her cooking in glorious detail) on a largely popular food group went unnoticed whilst a lesser known, lesser awesome (in her perception) post of someone else went viral the same day. It’s funny when a fully grown human being complains like a 2 year old, literally! Perhaps, she was genuinely sad. Ironically, to this lamenting post, she received hundreds of ‘likes’. Some empathized, some cheered and several mocked in satire. The irony further is that the lady chose to spew her angst on the very same forum that ignored her previous post, in the first place! There was an outburst of satire and pun, as I read comments on this rather entertaining thread, one cannot help but laugh! Does she even realise what a fool she has made of herself, out here?! This post had the maximum number of ‘Likes’ and ‘Comments’. Should she now be happy?!

Often one goes all out to reach out for comfort – socially and a lot in the virtual world, these days. Some people say – “Negative publicity is better than no publicity”. Well, Negative publicity comes with a huge cost. Be it ‘Cadburys’ having worms in their chocolates or customers spotting worms in Kellogg’s Chocos, these giants spend twice as much in fixing the mess created.

If someone falls down and has a huge scar right on their face, you know that every time someone looks at them, their face doesn’t look the same anymore! They can let it be or do everything in their might to fix the mess. Time alone, won’t heal! Even if it does, it may be too late lest the brand drowns!

Flipkart recently had a debacle with their Billion sale day. There were thousands of hate posts all over. Whether the debacle was a carefully engineered social media campaign or not, is debatable. Assuming, if it was a genuine server outage issue like it is claimed, the email that the the Bansal’s sent each and every Flipkart customer made a big difference, owning up to a goof up, coming clean and opening up a positive frame for the future. People were willing to forgive the mishap and give flipkart another chance.

In today’s world, one can’t screw up and get away with it. There are hundreds of people that would hunt you down and kick your backside if you don’t own up and make up for whatever it is that you did!

Every word you speak, speaks about you. Every gesture you make, conveys something about you. Think for yourself – what message are you communicating to people around you at any given moment? Your presence or absence there, makes a difference. What you do when you’re around, makes a difference. Your states of mind, your thoughts, your gestures, your body language, your attitude, your every eye blink – is conveying a message. You can’t get away with “Oh, I didn’t mean that….” because at least outside of your conscious awareness, of course you mean it! If you don’t, then shift whatever it is that has to shift so you convey always, what you INTEND to convey and watch out for whether you are getting the response you desire. If not, change. Do something else. After all, isn’t that what makes us ‘Like’ people? When people mean what they say, they’re far more liked. All it takes is a look at someone’s eye and you know what lies beneath, most times.

My heart goes out sometimes to those who play villains in movies and soap operas. When they get spotted in real life, there are people that hurl insults and curses at them for doing what they did (in reel life!!!). Well, one better be aware of consequences. It’s a choice they made, after all. Your Face & your words and deeds aren’t always going to be separated by people! So what are some of the ways in which you can build Congruence, internally? In a way that people look at you and know they can just trust you! Have you met people like that? There’s something about them that allows you to create a perception that’s favorable to both of you. How does one Master the art of manipulating perceptions with deep internal congruence, genuinity and more?! It’s a journey Antano & I enjoy exploring and sharing at uP!

Let people ‘Like’ you for what value you bring in. Rather than mock ‘Like’ what you may or may not have intended to bring in!

Are your eyes, ears and other senses now open to the difference?

  1. Dr Gowri Ramachandran
    October 27, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    Nice . What you say and you should mean that as well. Non verbals reveal the congruence .

  2. Priya Venkatesan
    October 28, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    Good one Harini!! To me, congruence means I “do” what I say! Thats been the way I have lead my teams to achieve our goals. That requires a lot of self-discipline. So ability to influence starts with me :-) After that, how I display genuine care – it could be a look into the eye, it could be a pat, it could be silence sometimes. Over the long run, it also means not selling one’s agenda in every conversation, being open to different point of views etc…


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